Remembering Tracy

In Loving Memory of

Tracy Lynn Stout

March 21, 1968 - March 15, 2010

I would like to spend a moment and take a break from our mission trip updates in order to celebrate the life of our cousin, Tracy. Tracy died suddenly a week before her 42nd birthday and the shock of her passing is still with me. It is like the wind was knocked out of my lungs and I have yet to be able to take a breath.

Tracy was princess, a child of the King. God knit her together with His own hands. She looked just how He wanted her to - she was a masterpiece created by the Master. With all of her quirks and problems she was a beautiful and valuable life. And she should not - can not - be erased.

As a very young girl Tracy thought the color of her hair was pinkle. Her Uncle Rich, my dad, told her it was and so she went around saying, "My name is Tracy. I am two years old. My eyes are blue. My hair is pinkle." It was actually blonde.

She also collected horses. I remember being in her upstairs bedroom and looking at he collection. When Hayley was young she, too, liked horses and Tracy picked out a couple from her own collection to add to Hayley's.

When Tracy grew up she had a great love for children. She was always the first one to clean up a baby's spit up, change a diaper, wipe a nose or do any of the not so fun child care jobs. When children were around she could be found sitting on the floor playing with them, looking at books with them or getting them a drink of water. Sher also enjoyed working with them. And she had a gift for working with children who are, how do I say, hard to handle or hard to love. She worked with children with emotional issues and physical disabilities. Tracy had found a place where she belonged, made a difference and where she was needed. Those children needed her. She gave attention to children who are usually written off and either ignored or simply endured. But to Tracy they were little lives who were just as important as any other.

When talking to my children about what they remember they all said they remember how Tracy was always willing to play with them - how she took the time to make them feel special - even in a house full of adults.

We also remember her fingernails. I know, that is an odd thing to remember but her nails were long and manicured. And colorful. One year she gave me some polish from Mary Kay that was a scrumptious shade of brown with a bit of sparkle. Beautiful!

This past Christmas came and went without us getting together. We had planned on a big spring get-together - but that will never be. How odd it still seems. I guess the old saying - don't put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today - applies to more than just chores. Our lives are so short. Here today gone tomorrow. We are here but for a moment. May we truly make the most of every opportunity - to love God - to love others - to leave a legacy that will last all of eternity.

Tracy's life was important and I will not let her be erased. When I think of her I will remember that everyone - no matter their abilities or looks or anything - is valuable to God and so they should be valuable to me. Tracy will be missed.